


Our Secret

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Post-Episode: s16e13 She
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 18:51:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: A jar, a secret, and a goodbye."You don't have to meet someone for them to have an impact on your life." - Unknown





	Our Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I did a post episode fic justice 🙏 There are no words to describe this amazing episode.

It had been almost an hour since she had read the words on that piece of paper that would dig around in her head, possibly driving her crazy with guilt. 

Ellie gripped her steering wheel tightly. It felt as if the paper was burning a hole in her pocket. Her mind flashed to the look in Gibbs and McGee's eyes when she had revealed all she found and felt her stomach churn. She was a daughter and a sister to them, and she couldn't tell them especially when she knew they'd try and find her no matter how careful they were about it, Ellie couldn't risk her being looked for if it meant Tony and most especially little Tali would be in trouble. 

As she drove, she could feel the events catching up to her. Ellie breathed out and sped up.

When getting to her destination, she pulled her car to the side and walked the short walk to the apartment. 

Ellie had been about to knock on the door when she hears his voice.

“Ellie? What're you doing here?”

She spun around to see him walking towards her. Right away her eyes narrowed onto the thing he was holding.

A jar, the jar Kasie had given him, filled with..water.

“Uh Nick, why do you just have a jar of water?”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “I asked first.”

She huffed. “Can we just..go in?”

He frowned and nodded, handing her his keys. Ellie lifted his apartment key, not even having to look for it among the other keys, and opened the door. Nick followed in after her, right away setting the jar down on the small table beside the door before going to the fridge and pulling out a bowl of chocolate pudding. 

Ellie hopped up onto the counter, Nick set the bowl beside her and handed her a spoon. Both of them not even bothering with scooping some into bowls as they ate it. 

“I..I just got in my car and started driving.” She whispered. “All I knew was that I wanted to be somewhere..safe, home.” 

Nick, with the spoon still in his mouth, stopped and looked at her with wide eyes. Any other day she would have laughed at the image. 

He tore the spoon from his mouth. “You wanted somewhere safe and a place that felt like home..and instead of just going home-” His voice softened. “You came here.” 

She bit her lip and nodded. Nick walked over to the jar and grabbed it, setting it down on the other side of her. 

“Out of all things..you put water in it?” Ellie said with a ‘have you lost your mind’ tone.

Nick chuckled a little before his face turned serious. “Ellie..when you were in the lake, I- I didn't know if you were even alive..I felt this horrible feeling in my chest, for a moment it was like I couldn't breathe and all I could do was shout your name, begging you in my head to just  _ answer _ -”

Ellie felt her eyes water at the look on his face. The fear he felt reflecting in his eyes even now. She knew Nick was more vulnerable then he acted and let on, but this was the most emotional she had ever seen him, even counting that night on her steps when they talked about Clay. She felt a pang in her heart and without having to think about it, she grabbed one of his hands in hers, threading their fingers together as if to remind him she was there and alive. 

He gripped her hand tightly. 

“When I saw you, it was like I could finally breathe again.” He said, his voice breaking. “That water..is from the lake.”

Ellie looked at him confused. “But..why?”

“Kasie told me to put something in it that I didn't want to lose.”

She breathed in sharply. Her eyes shifting to glance at the jar. 

“I could have lost you in that lake Ellie.” Nick said. “And since I can't put you in the jar..” He joked lightly.

Her lips lifted slightly, her eyes meeting his gaze. 

Both of them slowly leaned in. As their lips met and his hand cupped her cheek, Ellie felt her head finally go quiet. And when the kiss deepened and Ellie got her first real taste of Nick, all could she think about was the fact it was the best kiss she ever had. She could taste the chocolate from the pudding and Ellie couldn't help but think chocolate would never taste the same again. 

Nick stepped between her legs, his hands gripping her legs as he pulled her flush against him. Ellie almost whimpered at the feeling. 

Pulling apart to get some much needed air, Nick moved a few inches back. 

It was then the noise in her head came back. 

She found herself taking the paper out of her pocket without even thinking about it. And as she handed it to him, Ellie knew it was the right thing. She couldn't handle this secret on her own, she was good at keeping secrets..but this was something else entirely. Ziva wasn't just anyone, and Ellie may not have met her, but Ziva David was still family. 

Ellie watched his expression closely.

There was no surprise on his face and she felt confusion fill her.

“I hand you a note written by Ziva, who's supposed to be dead..and you look like I just handed you my grocery list.” Ellie said, a little frustration in her voice. 

“I'm not surprised because I had a feeling she wasn't actually dead.”

“What? But you're the one who said the words ‘Ziva David is dead’, you tried-”

“That was before.”

“Before?”

“Before I saw and stepped foot in that place she was keeping.” Nick said softly. Ellie was still confused. “When I stepped inside..I just- this feeling I got, I can't explain it but-”

Ellie breathed out and rested her forehead against his. “I trust you..more than I've trusted anyone.” She whispered.

Nick put his hand on her cheek, lightly brushing his thumb along it. “It'll be our secret. In case you didn't know..I'm pretty good at those, I use to lie for a living you know-”.

Ellie scoffed with a small smile as she pulled away and gave him a little shove. 

“I have to ask Ellie- you aren't planning on looking for her or trying to help are you?”

She shook her head. “I wouldn't risk Tali like that, if someone who is apparently after her found out I was digging- I just can't, if it was just Tony then maybe since he can handle himself but..Tali is just a little girl.” 

Nick made a noise of agreement. He kissed her forehead before pulling her into a hug. Ellie sighed and wrapped her arms around him, leaning in.

“And Ellie?”

“Yeah?” She whispered.

“About what you said- about you not measuring up to Ziva, while I'm sure she was a great agent..you're the best person and agent I've ever met. Of course you can't measure up, you're two different people, but I'd bet my knife collection  _ and _ all the money I have that she's proud to have you sitting at that desk."

Ellie sniffled, feeling a few tears escape. “You think so?”

Nick pulled away, looking deep into her eyes. “Yes. Out of anyone Ziva trusted you with her secret, and yes you told me but I honestly don't think she'd be mad about that, I'm sure she'd understand.” 

“Thank you.” She said softly. She didn't have to say anything for him to understand she meant it for so much more than his words. 

“Now..how about we burn this note, and go finish the pudding while watching your favorite Harry Potter movie.” 

She smiled and nodded. Nick grabbed the paper, Ellie handed him the lighter she carried around. Both of them watched as the flames ate away Ziva's words taking her written secret with it.

“Goodbye Ziva.” Ellie whispered as the last of the paper burned away. 

Nick rubbed her back. “Goodbye Ziva.”

Ellie leaned against him. “Can we stuff our faces with pudding now?”

He laughed, grabbing the bowl as she followed him into the living room. 

Right away Ellie curled into him, Nick wrapped his arm around her.

It didn't take long for all her adrenaline to run out, leaving her falling asleep cuddled against Nick after the pudding was all gone. 

Nick grabbed a blanket from the other end of the couch and draped it over her.

A sudden prickling feeling as if being watched fell over him, he shifted Ellie enough to move. He slowly got up making sure Ellie didn't wake up, thankfully she only sighed and curled herself under the blanket, holding it close to her face. 

Nick walked to the window overlooking the street. 

His eyes went right to the figure standing facing the window, even with her changed looks to disguise herself, Nick  _ knew.  _

Ziva's eyes met his. She smiled a sad smile, mouthing the words ‘thank you’.

Nick nodded his head, a small smile on his face in return. Ziva turned and walked away. 

“Goodbye Ziva.” He whispered once more. “Your secret is safe with us.”

He went back to the couch and sat down.

“Nick?” Ellie mumbled half awake. Nick smiled softly as she moved to lay against him again. 

“I'm not going anywhere.” He whispered, cocooning her in his arms.

Ellie sighed happily and melted into him, her body completely relaxing. Nick soon followed her into sleep.

_ "I once heard stories of a woman that changed people's lives. She was strong, rough around the edges, a force of nature, but had one of the biggest hearts no matter how much life knocked her down."  _


End file.
